be kind.

So something tiny happened like one day ago but I’m still thinking about it. Thought I’d share. 

I was just having a group sharing session with some church mates and all of a sudden, one of them (a close friend of mine) mentions that I was the first girl who ever talked to him in church. 

We all laughed it off and I made a joke about it, but what he said really stuck with me and this is why: I had absolutely no recollection of this. We’d been friends for so long that I had kind of forgotten the “origin story”, if you will, of our friendship. And he went on to say that this friendship he formed with me was one of the reasons he was now able to feel comfortable in the church environment. 

This sounds like such a tiny little thing, but it made a big impact on me because I suddenly realised: 

Everything you do in life affects the people around you in some way. A smile, a “good morning”, a conversation started, a laugh shared- small, simple gestures, but to someone else it might mean a whole lot. I didn’t talk to that guy for any particular reason: we were both in the same camp, I was looking for a friend, and I suppose he was just there. Like I said, I have no recollection of this, but to him, it was significant as I was the first female friend (and one of the first friends) he made in church. 

To me, one of the most underrated roles is that of the supporting character. It is often he or she that starts the action in the play, while the main character merely experiences the effects of it. Scene: main character walks down the street. Stranger runs up to them to return them their wallet they’d unknowingly dropped some time back. Main character bursts into tears, having narrowly escaped losing the money to buy an engagement ring in the form of a cheque which was stored in his wallet. Scene: main character sneezes and finds himself out of tissue. Stranger hands him handkerchief. Main character wipes nose and is saved from looking like an idiot holding his nose for the entire train ride.

It’s a really important role, if you think about it. The ability to affect the story of someone else’s life. Everything we do matters, even if we don’t realise it. So be kind. Be generous. Know that you live not only as the protagonist but also the random passer-by whose presence rather than character is crucial to the development of an ongoing plot.

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disappointing day, happy day

Today was a half-and-half day.

Bad Half

  1. Disappointing performance during canoe training.
  2. When I went back for afternoon training after lunch, there were no boats and I had to leave.
  3. Tired.
  4. Woke up so early and I hate waking up early for training.
  5. Exhausting sprint sets during training.

Good Half

  1. Father and son at the reservoir watching rainwater water pour out of a drain. The little kid was so excited to see it. A simple sight which made me happy that this kid was still finding pleasure in the small things.
  2. Cold Milo after training!
  3. Learnt some SgSL.
  4. Made slides for church.
  5. Am in a good mood. 

sign language!

New personal project- learn sign language!

I’m Singaporean so I’ll be learning SgSL, which is Singaporean Sign Language. I’m pretty glad I went to research about sign language, because I really didn’t know that there were different types of sign languages, just like there are different languages.

I want to learn this because one of my childhood friends is learning signing in Poly, and i found it really interesting and it also made me realise how much I take being able to hear for granted. I don’t know if I’ll ever use SgSL in real life, but if I do meet someone who is deaf or has a hearing impairment, at least I can communicate with them in a way that they can easily respond to and understand, just like everyone else should be able to in their daily lives.

Excited about this, hopefully I can keep it up!

birthday date with myself

I turned eighteen on the 27th. Didn’t do much on the day, but was surprised with a wonderful party by my friends at my house which was so touching. 

Today, though, I decided to take myself on a little date and kinda just enjoy my own company for a bit. Also I wanted to get out of the house because I could slowly feel my skin grafting onto my bedsheets.

So my mum kindly drove me to this place in town with one of my favourite bookstores, Kinokuniya, armed with my Kanken bag and $100 in angpow money kindly given to me by my grandmother.

It was in a really upscale part of the city, and I didn’t really realise how underdressed I was until I stepped through the doors in slippers, a school shirt and shorts. 

I was a rubber slipper girl in a Louboutin world.

I decided to ignore this and headed straight to the bookstore and spent a solid two hours there, just reading and enjoying the books and the atmosphere in general.
Of course, I spent most of my $100 getting some books.

3/5 of them are by authors whose books I’ve never read before (with the exception of Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe), so quite happy.

I’ll do a little run-through of the books now.

One of my favourite authors!

Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

Jane Austen is one of my favourite writers- I mean, she’s up there with Dickens for me. In my opinion, she was a female writer ahead of her time- in a period of history where her sister authors were writing what were deprecatingly referred to as “novels”- a word that had very negative connotations because it referred to books that were considered “flighty” (basically, probably every romance novel today) and unworthy of being read by those who knew better, she wrote realistic and believable prose that managed to both separate itself from the over-romanticised and dramaticised love stories that saturated the market (think: The Monk) through its matter-of-fact portrayals of love and romance, while simultaneously supporting the rising genre of the “novel” which was not held in high esteem by the highly-educated and stiff-upper-lipped in English society. This is especially apparent in Northanger Abbey, which I am not ashamed to say I have read over twenty times.

Edgar Allen Poe, Tales of Horror

I believe there was another anthology of his called Tales of Something Else but I really can’t remember the name at the moment. It’s basically a collection of Poe’s short stories. I read some in comic version years ago in the children’s section of my library and I loved it, so I decided I would give it a try again in straight prose. 

I’m someone who isn’t too fond of change, so I re-read the same books over and over again until they are literally in tatters. I just find it comforting to have the familiar plot play out, in the words that I’ve long memorised. Gives me a sense of security, I suppose, because in that few hours of reading I am absolutely sure of the future.

W. Somerset Maugham, The Merry-Go-Round

No idea who Maugham is, read the blurb, read the first paragraph, and decided I rather liked it and it was coming home with me. 

N.B.: I was looking it up and I nearly got a heart attack when I read a review of the exact edition that I have which says that it’s not complete and the actual book is 400 pages long. Did I just get an abridged version? Quelle horreur! 

Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

It sounded like a very interesting premise, with a highly intelligent child and the murder of a dog involved. Although I am and can relate to neither of those elements in the novel, I found them very interesting and unique while still being realistic. I’m not usually one for high-fantasy or Sci-Fi or things like that, I like books that are based on and in real life on earth. Just personal preference, but I’m really trying to get into more fantasy novels lately like Lord of the Rings and the Song of Ice and Fire series. Plus I really liked Ready Player One which Booktube recommended to me. So I’m making progress! 

Anthony Mara, The Tsar of Love and Techno

I’m actually super interested in both Russian culture and history so if I see the word “Tsar” on the cover of a book I’m definitely going to check it out.

Now, after enjoying one of my favourite meals (Vegetarian Aglio Olio from this pasta place called Once Upon a Thyme, $6), I read a bit of Mansfield Park and am now studying.

Some might call it a boring way to spend an eighteenth, but I’ve never been one for huge birthday bashes. I do appreciate them, but mostly for the time I get to hang out with friends. Personally, the idea of having a “Sweet Sixteenth” or a really crazy, alcohol-filled “legal” birthday celebration isn’t very necessary, if you’re having one just because the movies and pop culture told you to and not because you genuinely want to. But if you want to go ahead and make your birthday special, by all means! It’s just not really for me. Everyone has their own ways of celebrating. 

Also, as I type, the sun is shining like crazy outside but it’s also raining. The person who came up with the idea to dub dark, cloudy, gloomy days “bad weather” has obviously never been in a sunshine-y thunderstorm, because those are the worst. In a normal thunderstorm you’re at least able to snuggle in your blanket and drink hot chocolate and be all poetic about the weather. But there’s nothing poetic about a sunshine-y thunderstorm. It’s just hot and wet and you can feel the humidity on your skin- the most accurate description I can come up of what being in a sunshine-y thunderstorm is like is, that it’s kinda like being doused by a bucket of lukewarm water while stepping into equally lukewarm puddles while wearing dry socks. Plus you’re inhaling steam with every breath. And you’re sweaty.

Basically, it really, really sucks. 

Overall, though, it’s been an amazing day. I’m home now and I feel really happy and satisfied with what I did, and even if other people may not have chosen to spend their birthday/money on the same things that’s fine because spending some time alone made my birthday special to me

I guess something I wanna say in this post is, don’t be afraid to hang out with yourself once in a while. If you don’t feel like you need to have an extravagant birthday party every year, if you don’t feel like you have to go out with 90278298 friends every time you leave the house, don’t do it just because it’s the “socially acceptable” thing to do.

And yes, there is a sort of- well, I won’t say stigma, but it’s more of an unwritten societal rule that it’s weird to hang out by yourself. It’s weird to walk into a restaurant and get a table and a fancy dinner for one. Passer-bys unconsciously give people who are sitting alone pitying looks. I felt weird the first time I decided to walk into a restaurant and get a table for one as well, but after a while I realised: if I’m so dependent on other people to have fun and be happy, can I really call myself a confident person? 

Part of learning to love yourself is learning to be alone. Sure, some thrive on company and friends and I, being a more extroverted person, certainly do. I just think that we should be able to say, “I love my friends and am blessed and thankful to have them, but I don’t need the presence of others to find myself interesting, smart, clever, or to feel appreciated or wanted, because I as a person am inherently all of those things.”

So yeah! Some thoughts on my birthday date with myself. I hope this kind of inspires someone to take themselves out as well! Let me know if you do end up trying it 🌸

2354 // Blogger Recognition Award

There isn’t actually a banner for this (that I’m aware of) but I decided to go ahead and make a simple one which everyone’s welcome to use!

Super honoured to have been nominated by Madi from Madi and the World for this! I really enjoy her blog because it’s very well put-together with amazing pictures and lighthearted writing. Her posts are super easy to read. Would definitely reccomend if you’re someone who’s interested in beauty and lifestyle blogs.

Here are the rules:

1. You must thank the blogger who nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.

2. Write a post to show your award.

3. Give a brief story about how you started your blog.

4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.

5. Select 15 other bloggers you want to give the award to.

6. Comment on each of the blogs to let them know that they have been nominated, and provide a link.

So I guess I’ll talk briefly about how I started this blog.

Nothing too exciting, really. It all began on a very rainy night right before school started. I was really bored, and decided that I would just start writing and see what became of it. So here I am, some weeks later, still trying to figure things out.

I don’t know exactly how I can help new bloggers, since I’m a new blogger myself, but I’ll try!

1) Don’t be afraid to write.

So many writers are afraid of being “too negative” or “too excited” or “too _____” on their blogs, that they end up toning it down and writing with the mindset that they don’t want to make others worry/let their readers know that they’re feeling down. Also, some may be wary of sharing their own views lest they be mocked by others for their beliefs. Just remember this: your blog is your blog, not your readers’, your “fans”, your family’s, or even your dog’s. This is a space for you to share your thoughts. A blog is, above all, a personal thing. You don’t have to write for your audience. I mean, you can, but don’t feel constrained by this to the point where you limit your self-expression. Be as passionate, as sad, as happy, or as excited as you want to be.

2) There is no “template”.

The second piece of advice I guess I’d give is: don’t try and follow a “template” when you’re writing your blogposts. Sure, it’s great to have a structure as a guide, but when people don’t dare to step away from this structure, I feel like that results in a lot of “cookie-cutter” posts that have lost the crucial thing that makes a blog post meaningful: the writer’s identity. You don’t need to post every day. Neither should you feel bad if you want to post twice, thrice, four times a day. Not all your posts need to be about a certain theme. Not all your posts need to have an aesthetic header image, chirpy greeting and loads of pictures. Not all your posts need to be five paragraphs long. Not all your posts need to end off with you signing your name with a “xx” behind. Now, note that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing all these things (I love it when posts are loaded with pictures, and I have a banner in this post myself). If that’s how you want to write, go ahead. But never force your writing to fit into a “mold” because you have no confidence that you can write a brilliant, original blog post- because you can. Find your voice as a blogger.

So that’s it, I suppose! Thank you Madi once again for nomimating me (linked her above) and thank you all for reading this far.

Now, the nominees! I’m sorry that there are less than fifteen, I’m still in the slow process of finding new blogs and people to follow. In fact, when I was first nominated, I followed in total less than fifteen blogs which is why I chose to wait for a while before posting the award. Some of the blogs here I’ve been following since I started blogging not-too-long ago, and some others I’ve only followed for a few days, but I’ve probably binge-read your posts so it’s all good.

  1. Hideaway Girl
  2. Chit of Acerbic Wit
  3. Alicia Parry Blog
  4. Mimmy Beauty
  5. The Monster Under My Bed
  6. P.S. It’s Peri
  7. Rose Tinted Pics
  8. Teenagers UNITE!
  9. Waves of Awesomeness
  10. Stellaxhsts

So yeah! Those are the nominees! Thank you once again to Madi for the nomination.

2220 

Ran 2.4 km today (in American terms, about one and a half miles) and it felt so good to finally break 14 min! Been trying so hard since secondary school to run faster, but it’s only this year that I’m getting serious about self-training. Good job to me *pats self on back* because we all need a little self-love once in a while. 

PLUS! As I was typing this we just got our configs and I’M IN K4! I’m so so super pumped right now, you wouldn’t even believe this has really made my night goodness me

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, a K4 is a crew boat with four paddlers, as opposed to a K1 which is a single-man kayak. A K2 is a double-man kayak.

I love sports. There’s a kind of beauty in its simplicity- on the court, nothing matters but the goal. There’s no drama to be resolved, there are no deadlines looming, there’s nothing but you and the game, you and your team, you and the sweat and exhaustion dripping from every pore in your body until the final whistle blows and you know that you’ve done your best. Sports lets you let go.