2220 

Ran 2.4 km today (in American terms, about one and a half miles) and it felt so good to finally break 14 min! Been trying so hard since secondary school to run faster, but it’s only this year that I’m getting serious about self-training. Good job to me *pats self on back* because we all need a little self-love once in a while. 

PLUS! As I was typing this we just got our configs and I’M IN K4! I’m so so super pumped right now, you wouldn’t even believe this has really made my night goodness me

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, a K4 is a crew boat with four paddlers, as opposed to a K1 which is a single-man kayak. A K2 is a double-man kayak.

I love sports. There’s a kind of beauty in its simplicity- on the court, nothing matters but the goal. There’s no drama to be resolved, there are no deadlines looming, there’s nothing but you and the game, you and your team, you and the sweat and exhaustion dripping from every pore in your body until the final whistle blows and you know that you’ve done your best. Sports lets you let go. 

Of course, there’s always the question. What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail the team? What if I mess up? Whatifwhatifwhatifwhatif 

No one has the answer to it, yet it’s the most asked question in the world. But does the answer really matter? 

If we allow ourselves to live in a world of whatifs, that world is going to turn into a world of whywhywhy, and then it’s just gonna become a world of icanticanticant. It’s the biggest slippery slope the universe has to offer. 

Humans exist in a timeline that allows us to move in only one direction- forwards. We will never, no matter how hard we try, be able to see into the future to judge our own choices. It’s just something our mortal minds cannot comprehend, and we need to come to terms with the fact. 

Living a life straining to find an impossible answer to an impossble question is so unnecessary. If we cannot even live in the present, how can we expect to enjoy ourselves if we keep worrying about the future? 

In my opinion, the notion of “I can’t” stems from the notion of “what if”. One of our most important lessons is to live a life that allows us to exist in the here and now, not in the hazy realm of the future, where nothing is certain except death. 

So. After that huge digression, I’m done with this update. Going to bed very happy.

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